Reply to Sam Hamill’s Essay “The Necessity to Speak”
I was really intrigued by this essay, and I wholeheartedly agree with the Hamill’s ideas. The importance of communication is not a new concept. Corporations have workshops on developing communication skills. Colleges and Universities offer classes and degrees in varying types of communication. One can buy books to aid in the development and art of personal communication. But our focus, in this instance, needs to be shifted. Instead of focusing on how we communicate, we perhaps should focus on what we are communicating. We’re spending all this energy learning how to communicate, and yet doing our best to not communicate about some of the things that deem the most attention; tough topics like violence and abuse.
So why are we so scared, or at the least, resistant to discussing the tough topics, especially with our children? Hamill argues that this stems from our adult desire to maintain our “innocence.” “Knowledge is the loss of innocence. How desperately we want our innocence. How desperately we protect the innocence of our children!” (Hamill 550) Discussing topics like rape, violence and abuse with our children means not only that we have to admit that they exist, but also that we are at risk. This knowledge is like a sword; most parents don’t want their kids to get cut. But what we don’t understand is that this sword can also be protection, and can actually arm a child, or anyone, against such evils. If we choose to arm ourselves with swords of knowledge, maybe we could actually do some damage against the ignorance that has allowed such evils to run rampant.
I also believe that this tendency to cling to our ignorance is also related to our desire to see ourselves as innately good. If we admit that humans are innately flawed and capable of things such as rape, violence and abuse, then that means that we are innately flawed and capable of the same things. We don’t want to admit this about ourselves, so to avoid the implication we deny that a problem exists in the first place. More so, when someone is witness to such evils first hand, their ability to accept the fact that, yes, humans are capable of such bad things and yes, that means they are to, is paramount in helping them break the cycle of abuse and violence. “Only when those of us who have overcome the terrible cycle of violence bear witness can we demonstrate another possibility.” (Hamill 552)
I also want to comment on the poetic nature of this essay. The author states in his essay, “Take the rhyme out of poetry, there is still poetry: take the rhythm out of it, and there is still poetry… The words are only the frame which focuses the epiphany we call poetry.”(Hamill 549-550) Does this essay not contain it’s own epiphany, framed in it’s words?
As a single mother, it did for me. It reminded me that knowledge is power, and giving my daughter the proper knowledge, regardless of what whether our society agrees with me or not, is the best tool I can give her to survive this world. Innocence is subjective, and perhaps a little overrated. After all, who is really the more innocent one, the girl who knows how to defend herself when she gets attacked, of the girl who doesn’t even realize she can get attacked, and ends up raped and beaten in a ditch? I’m sure you can guess which one I want my daughter to be.

For more information on how to stop domestic violence, go to
http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/info/domestic-violence